If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
Q: How many Iyengar yogis does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: Only one. BUT, they will need: a sticky mat, a backless chair, two blocks, five blankets, a bolster, six ropes, two belts, six assorted benches, a bandage, a slant board, two quarter rounds, three weights, one wooden horse, a certificate.
(If you’re a yogi, this is a hilarious joke!) :)
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
A surprise Easter egg.
Two peanuts walked into a bar.
One was a salted.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin’ ’bout.
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : “Funny, I smell carrots too”.
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Q: There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
A: The one on the range.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change.
Riddle: What do you call a zipper on a banana?
Answer: A fruit fly.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.